26 June 2007


At the start of the game, talk to the Men and get units. Then, talk to the other Men and go to the city. Successfully complete the quests and the "A Formidable Quest" quest. Then, get a Weapon or Money (recommended). Upgrade it/them to Big Weapon/ Lots of Moneys and repeatedly kill Competitors and Usurpers. Make sure you also kill certain Friends. Carve up everything you killed. When you are back in the village, sell all the items you have then go to the cave. Get everything and give it to the effigy you do not recognize in the cave, on the left. The quest alone results in 1100UNITS for doing it with one life. This is also a good way to get points to renovate your home town, erect monuments and be remembered, and the Big Weapon can kill a Usurper in a little under ten hits.

Successfully complete all Level 1 quests. Then, select the last mission. You will need 200UNITS and plenty of irrelevant life experience to start. Start the mission and realize how wholly unprepared you are for this (dying). Wish (press Z, then Z, then right, then X) you had thought about this before. Remember and by remembering return to that (those) moments when you sat drinking various Guinesses and reading the Sports Sections of three different newspapers and instead of doing so fill that (those) Saturday morning hours with Thinking About Death. Follow this route 2 to 5. Then, go 10 to 11. On 11 you will need to dig to get the crystal. Then, return from the same route. From 10 run straight to 5. Run in zigzags to 2 (walk or run). There is nothing here that can attack you that you can defend against, nor must you attempt it.

Do the "Gathering" quest for Graveyards/Fairgrounds, where you just have to deliver the Pearl Ticket in the box. In the box, grab your candy floss and your Pearl Ticket. Go to Area 2 and search around the first portal to the other side/water ride you see on the left when entering from Area 1. You will get either a Silver Scale or a Goldbug. Just sell the Silver Scales for easy money.

Do the "Repentance" quest for Nothing, where you just have to deliver the Pearl Ticket in the box. Bring vague acquaintances, long-lost friends and dug-up long-dead pets. If you are bringing relatives from Asia Minor, bring four because they will constantly keep breaking. To get good money, enter all the caves and mine all the areas. Sell the people you know or keep them for smithing.

Love / Duplicate
Play with two players and get all the self worth you want to share, then go to the online coupling hall. Give all the self worth you want to the other player. Note: There are some bits you cannot share. Turn off the game without saving while the other player stays in the online coupling hall. Turn on the game again and you will have all the self worth that you gave away. Get back all the self worth you gave the other player and you will have doubled your self worth, more or less.

Training School
Unlock the Level 2 missions from the town mashup (the one with long nails and chemical breath) and successfully complete the "I Feel The Connection" mission to unlock the Training School, where you can fight against Gary with limited weapons, armor, and items. When you defeat other powerful monsters, you will have the option to learn their fear-inducing secrets.

Pet sister
Near the beginning of the game, look for your sister following a man around the village. Stroke her and music will play. As soon as the music stops, press X.

Easy love
Successfully complete all Level 1 quests. Then, talk to the man near your house. He is to the left of the south entrance. He will let you go to the Olympic Stadium. Once there, do everything you can (pole vault, get the company to pay for training otherwise you’ll take this other job and take your contacts with you, threaten the company, they have taken so much of you - javelin, etc.), then leave. Then, turn on the television but do not watch it. Instead, look behind it. You will see a peacock. Try going in the offline coupling hall. When you get there, you will see lots of things. Talk to the girl on the screen with the nice leotard on, and she will promise you the world, in the form of physical moments so full and disallowed that they forget the World which disallow them. Go to the shopping basket and get perfume. Take the perfume to a girl with lots of clothes on (this is your Chief Executive’s wife), diagonally to the left of the waterfall. Sit and imagine her with the nice Leotard and the world you met in discarded. When she stops talking you must give her the perfume. Practice Bashful Smile. Press Z, then X, then up, then Z (prayer to God of WayFaring Clerks Seeking Something AfterHours combination). Repeat the process again afterwards. This is an easy way to help decorate the world with things other than money, others’ fame and overdue phone bills.

Getting Monster Tooth+
Successfully complete "Attack Of The Disc Disc", a three star quest at the federation. Once you complete it, you might get an item called Medium Size Disc Ear. Sell everything from the Disc except the ear and go start a gathering quest at the federation in the lake and dump. Go directly to Area 7 and find the tall ‘tatty’ man. He will trade the Medium Size Disc Ear for a Monster Tooth+. You can trade three times, or more. A second, but more annoying way to get it is to take "The Dream Of Driving Down By The Balmy Kiwi Coast" quest at the federation. It is also a three star quest. Kill at least seven and you should get seven Monster Tooth+s.

Completing the Deliver The Ring quest
Take out all the potions, bacon and units. It is also recommended to bring more bacon and some frozen chicken kievs. Go to Area 2 and kill every Monster that jumps in there. This may take awhile and require occasional use of potions. After you kill them, go to Area 4 then to Area 4a. You will see a scene where the Shrivelled Primary School Teacher swoops in. As soon as he quits, backflip by pressing Y. After that, walk at a steady pace behind the nearest decent size rock and try to watch the Shrivelled Primary School Teacher, but make sure he cannot see you. If done correctly and you keep out of his sight, he will fly off. Stand up and run for Area 4b. When you get there, kill all the Monsters and beggars, even if they swear blind they have important things to tell you about your fate. There should only be four of them. An intermission sequence will show you where the Finger is located. Once the Monsters and beggars are dead, go up to the Hand. Do not get the Ring yet. Instead, eat all your rations (careful with chicken kievs - are they defrosted properly?) Search the Hand to find the Ring. Note: Watch your energy; if it goes all the way down you will break the Hand. Also, if you are attacked or try to use an item the Hand will swell up even more and you cant get the Ring off. It may fall and break. You should now have an easy way back to Kansas. Go to Area 4b then Area 4a then Area 4. Be careful, as Shrivelled Primary School Teacher may be in any of these areas at any time, will never die or forgive previous indiscretions. If you see him, run back to the previous area and wait for him to hear the call, when he will leave. Sometimes if you go back to Area 3 after the Monsters and beggars are killed, there will be one straggler. However, most of the time if you killed them all before you should be safe. Just watch out for the ginger one. From Area 3 go to Area 2. Then go to the pier. Go to the other box and press F to successfully deliver your first Ring (applause, grimaces).

Defeating Mother
It did not want you to do what you wanted to do. Have Level 2 (99) bullets. There is a ledge that you can climb to attack the Mother; it is the smaller ledge. The Mother will not come up, its nails are brittle. All you need to do is keep shooting it in the head. You will get 40,000 UNITS, and a clearer sense of self, for defeating it.

Defeating Father
In the first place, it took the Mother. Get a Speargun and Level 2 (99) bullets. Keep shooting at its head until it falls. You will get a lot of money, and an optimized decision making capacity, by completing this quest.

Revenge Of The Mother Quest! glitch
Start the "Revenge Of The Mother" quest. Take only your weapons, armor, and one Nautinet. Once the quest is started, go directly to Area 7 (going through Areas 1 and 8). Talk to the delivery man in Area 7 and he will give you a special mushroom for your Nautinet. Accept the offer, then just sit and wait until time runs out. It will say that you have completed the quest. The next time you try the quest you will not be able to do this trick. However, if you kill Mother, who only has one third of its normal life because of the glitch, you can do the glitch again. Afterwards you must kill it and repeat the process again to get Mother armor, a clearer sense of self, and lots of money.


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